Abuse women

Abuse women 

Abusing is a very overwhelming problem occurring nowadays and before. This problem has been taken measured ever since it started and a lot has done to reduce it but throughout the years this problem has only increased. Abusing is a bad deed and should not be practice by us to others. Abusing is equal to violence and violence can lead to many other bad things, for example murdering. It is wrong especially to the muslim as it have been prohibited by ALLAH. In al-quran many verses have been mentioned about not doing the bad deeds. First example from the al-quran, ".Take not life, which Allah hath made sacred, except by way of justice and law: thus does He command you, that ye may learn wisdom." (al-An'am 6:151). From this ayat, Allah teaches us not to kill others whom are not qualified to be kill and punishment is done through law syariah. Only then, punishment to sentences to death may be done. Literally killing is not the symbol of peace that has been taught by Allah through al-quran, thus abusing resembles in that part. Human should take note that abusing is wrong and maybe considered haram as it is contrary to what peace means. Second example is that The Prophet,once said, "Abusing a Muslim is a sin, and killing him is disbelief." (Bukhari and Muslim). As a muslim we should follow what has be told by Allah so abusing activity must not be one of our attitude daily. 

Generally in terms of word abuse can be physical, sexual, and emotional or verbal. It is intimidation or manipulation of another person or an intrusion into another’s psyche. The purpose is to control another person. It is generally a long term pattern of behavior although specific short term interactions can be labeled abusive. Recently the following categories have been included in definitions of abusive behavior social, economic, intellectual and spiritual. With child and women abuse neglect is also an important component. Abuse cuts across all social categories and classes. It occurs in well educated high income areas and in low income working class areas; it happens in all races and religions. It can occur in families, extended families, in neighborhoods, schools, and community groups. Both men and women can be abusive and it can occur in virtually all age groups. The old can abuse the young and the young to old. While standards are different in various cultures, it occurs in virtually all countries as well. Because it is often learned at an early age, it can be passed from generation to generation like a family disease. This is called the intergenerational cycle of abuse .Abuse tends to happen to people in a weaker position or to those who are willing to be accommodating. Thus a stronger brother will abuse a weaker brother, an agreeable and supportive wife may be abused by her uncompromising husband, a teacher may pick on a student who is having learning problems, and a spoiled teenage boy may manipulate a parent in an abusive manner. 

Abusing has a long history from back then. Even from then, many solutions and laws were enforced to avoid this problem to occur majorly. Still now, many responsible and kind heart people have done many efforts to make a stop on this problem. For example from the perceptive of a non Muslim organization , Four United Nations agencies and offices have amalgamated to create a new single entity within the organization to promote the the rights and well-being of women worldwide and to work towards gender equality. Secondly, an example by our own community of Islam people is the Project Sakinah. This project objective mainly was about   stopping family violence now. This is an initiative of Dar al Islam, a New Mexico non-profit religious and educational organization. It is an effort to stimulate awareness and action in the Muslim community to wake up to the reality of the harm being done to our families, to learn to speak up in order to break the silence that surrounds the issue, and to team up with others to work to change our condition. Another Islamic organization Rahima, Centre for Education and Information on Islam and Women's Rights is a non-governmental organization that focuses on empowerment of women in Islamic perspective. Rahima was established to respond to the needs of information on gender and Islam.FarhaCiciek is the religious leader of this organization. She has gave all her heart and strength to help women in need in Indonesia. She has linked the religious communities with a broader network through a carefully conceived, non-confrontational approach that provides both egalitarian educations from a religious perspective and practical benefits to women’s lives. Many Muslim people oversea have done a lot on the community in their country. Luckily people are still standing up for the right of the women and even the family.  

In Malaysia also, there are many kind hearted people doing the same thing to preserve the rights of the women in many categories, abuse, education, work and others. Abuse of women will be the main concentration now. Firstly from our government many things have been done to help the women in need. Firstly , the fifth prime minister Abdullah Ahmad Badawi have expand the Ministry of Women and Family Development to become the Ministry of Women, Family and Community Development and along with this, it has changed by promoting women’s right more seriously. He also has stated a stand that he is against sex crime. After this statement JAG-VAW initiated a meeting with the prime minister who agree to look into the various memoranda put forward by JAG-VAW and the women’s movement since then. Five existing shelters will be gazette for the abuse women, that the public sector achieve a quota of at least 30 percent women in senior level positions and that all ministers has been set up to speed up the government’s objective of ensuring gender equality at all levels. Besides the higher position doing all the work on helping the abuse women, community in Malaysia also has lend a hand on helping those women in need. Malaysian has a very kind of sense of nature on helping other. This quality has has been build up since generation before us. Communities of Malaysian have help in many ways, like for example donation, campaigning and many more. Believers! Do not nullify your acts of charity by stressing your benevolence and causing hurt as does he who spends his wealth only to be seen by men and does not believe in Allah and the Last Day. The example of his spending is that of a rock with a thin coating of earth upon it: when a heavy rain smites it, the earth is washed away, leaving the rock bare; such people derive no gain from their acts of charity. Allah does not set the deniers of the Truth on the right way. (2:262 - 264). This verses tells about how is the attitude of the giver of charity. It stress out that for those who spend their wealth in the way of Allah and do not follow up their spending by stressing their benevolence and causing hurt, will find their reward secure with their Lord. They have no cause for fear and grief. 

Numbers of people are increasing day by day. Thus by this it harder to identify who is being abuse and who is the abuser. As a person who works to stand up for the rights of women, should appoint out some of the characteristic of both of this people, the abuser and the person had been abuse. This is to make sure others to be aware of the people they are confronting with daily at work, home or the neighborhoods. Firstly, they are many characteristics of those been abused. Only fourteen characteristic will be point out. Abused women have to guess at what normal behavior is,they have difficulty maintaining their focus and drive, they are often paralyzed by their own negativity so that they find it hard to start something new and an uphill struggle to see it through, theyjudge themselves without mercy, abused women feel they always have to justify themselves, they have difficulty being light-hearted they have difficulty trusting, theytake everything very seriously, they overreact and catastrophist even over small problems, they faithfully record every last criticism they experience and they discount the praise, they need approval and affirmation and tend to look for it in all the wrong places, usually feel that they are different to other people as a result of their relationship, they are extremely loyal, even despite the evidence that their loyalty is undeserved and lastly abused women envisage a future that will be just as hard as the present. Those are the common characteristics occurring to each individual that has been abuse. If you see these things on your loves ones, family or friends quickly provide them with counseling and give those help.  

The second thing that should be taken note by us is the characteristics of the abuser. They abuse in tactics for example through dominance, humiliation, isolation, threats, intimidation, denial and blame. Dominance, isolation and threats are the major tactics used by the abuser to abuse a person. Dominance will make the abuser feel in charge of the relationship and by that they will make decisions for you and the family, tell you what to do, and expect you to obey without question. Your abuser may treat you like a servant, child, or even as his or her possession.Through isolation, they will make you dependence on him or her more, an abusive partner will cut you off from the outside world. He or she may keep you from seeing family or friends, or even prevent you from going to work or school. You may have to ask permission to do anything, go anywhere, or see anyone. A threat is the most dangerous tactic use because it can lead to murdering and other bad deeds. A person whom realize they have one or more characteristics mentioned in both categories abuser and been abuse. You should get help before it’s too late. If as Muslim getting through this problem, the remembrance of Allah will help you. In the al-quran, many verse of ayat have mentioned about the remembrance of Allah can lead to many good things. For example, [13: 27-28]"Those who believe and whose hearts are set at rest by the remembrance of Allah, now surely by Allah's remembrance are the hearts set at rest." and [62:10] "Remember Allah much, that you may be successful." 

To stop the abusive activity, the victims are the main role who can stop it. The mind set of each individual should change. The victims should realize and stand up for themselves and ask for help. Even though if a family member helps on by bring you to the counselor it would not work unless you are ready to step ahead and change. There are many ways to contribute towards the fight for change. Individual participation can take place at many levels, and through many mediums. Anybody can make a difference even each one of us can participate at many levels, from getting involved through our personal associations, right through to being active in global wide networks.Even the choices available of ways in which we can participate are plentiful.Some may wish to participate through creative expression, others through practical, community based projects or web-based intellectual activism.Those with a creative flare may wish to ad their might to the fight using mediums such as art, music, creative writing, poetry, digital media and have the option of promoting their unique brands in person amongst their local community, through established local publications or via online social networking and self publication websites.In our immediate social circles and family groups, we can offer emotional support, spread awareness, and most importantly, model the right way to behave. In our local communities, we can participate in awareness and education campaigns, apply for government funding to set up resource points that provide access to information, practical aid and financial support for victims who seek help. Online, we can work together in social networks such as facebook to raise awareness by providing easily accessible educational and practical information, and much needed inspiration and emotional support. In our cultural groups we can inspire, enlighten, advocate tolerance and equality, and lead by example.At a political level we can form groups to conduct campaigns and lobby our local councils, state and federal governments and members of parliament for changes in laws, social policies and resource allocation. Many things can be done to stop this activity of abusing. It’s our duty to do what is right for us and them.  

Many reason can be the cause of abusing women. One of the reasons is the drinking of liquor and bad social life. Both will bring upon an impact that will cause abusing women and many other bad deeds. This is why Allah prevents us to drink liquor and join bad social life. O you who believe! Intoxicants and games of chance and (sacrificing to) stones set up and (dividing by)arrows are only an uncleanness, the Shaitan's work; shun it therefore that you may be successful. The Shaitan only desires to cause enmity and hatred to spring in your midst by means of intoxicants and games of chance, and to keep you off from the remembrance of Allah and from prayer. Will you then desist? (Surah Maida 5:90-91) From this verse, Allah in his wisdom, firstly disclosed the evils in alcohol, then prohibited it at prayer times and finally declared it absolutely Prohibited. Allah knows what is the best for us and liquor is not one of them. We can also see nowadays people who drink this liquor have bad health and manner. A lot of news has mentioned about the destruction of family and killing. This was caused by the drinking of liquor majorly. Bad social life also allows abuse activity to increase because from bad social life, bad manners will built up in us naturally over time. Bad manner that will be a part of us if we join bad social life is hot tempered, not patience, violence and many more. So, we must not join any bad social life and must not start drinking liquor. 

Everyone especially Muslim should have a good behavior towards everything in this world. Since we were little we were taught to be a good Muslim. That’s why our hold on Islam is important.If our belief in Islam is shaky,this will contribute to bad deeds like abusing women. We are lack of patience and knowledge on daily circumstances. For example if a husband doesn’t have the full knowledge about Islam they would not know how to punish their wife if their wife did something wrong. The Noble Qur'an (An-Nisaa 4:34) mentioned how to punish wives properly when they do bad deeds, ‘As to those women on whose part you see ill conduct, admonish them (first), (next), refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful), but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance)’.  Without this knowledge, abusing women by their husband may occur a lot. Hence it is important for us to have a strong belief toward Islam and Allah.  

There many victims out there. Many story to be told and hear. I came across a true story about Emily Johnson life since she was little till she married, abusive is all around her. She grew up in an abusive home. After growing up she follows the cycle of abuse that is she married a man who beat and battered her. After he unsuccessfully tried to murder her, Emily devised a plan to leave with her two small children and escape to California almost forty years ago. She was brave to leave her husband at the end.  People who are in this kind of mess should follow her foot step. As it help yourself from being continued to be abuse. You should not stick around waiting for him to change because the waiting may cause your life and even your children. Stand up for yourself, that’s the moral value we should bury in us. Starting a new life is better than not having any life at all. 

The statistics of women abuse is increasing every day because mainly by the exposure of media to the youth. From my perspective, media is the major influence for nowadays social issue and one of them is abusing women. This is because media shows variety of story uncensored. Killing, raping, bullying scenes are much availably everywhere even for the children underage. From this, it builds up the characteristic of a youth from early age which is all bad. Influences by friends, gangs are also the reason for social issue to be more serious. Parents and family should take note and always ask their children what their up to. Do this from they are little, lucky maybe they will grow up well. As they know they are been noticed and cared by their parents. Love from parents, family is the important thing to build up a good son or daughter that in future will be a very good human being. In Islam family, children should be taught about Islam from an early age, this can prevent them to do bad things as they know already what is wrong and what is right for the presences and therefore. Many Islamic views say that a good child starts from home. Without the knowledge that should be taught at home. The children may grow up uncompleted Parent should advise their children to always search for knowledge. Only with knowledge, a person is safe in the world and akhirat. Allah too mention in the al-quran about seeking for knowledge everywhere you go. Learning new things would not make you lose anything but instead make you again many things.