PEER PRESSURE

PEER PRESSURE

Firstly, we should know what is peer pressure means. Peers are people who are part of the same social group, so the term "peer pressure" refers to the influence that peers can have on each other . Although peer pressure does not necessarily have to be negative, the term "pressure" implies that the process influences people to do things that may be resistant to, or might not otherwise choose to do. So usually the term peer pressure refers to socially undesirable behaviors, such as experimentation with alcohol and drug use, rather than socially desirable behaviors, such as academic success, although it could be applied to either, and either could be a positive or a negative experience for the individual. Peer pressure is usually applied to younger people, especially teenagers. Adolescents are particularly vulnerable to peer pressure, because they are at a stage of development when they are separating more from their parents' influence, but have not yet established their own values or understanding about human relationships or the consequences of their behavior. They are also typically striving for social acceptance at this stage, and may be willing to engage in behaviors that will allow them to be accepted that are against their better judgment.

Next, you should know who are you peer. When you were a little kid, your parents usually chose your friends, putting you in playgroups or arranging playdates with certain children they knew and liked. Now that you're older, you decide who your friends are and what groups you spend time with.Your friends are people your age or close to it who have experiences and interests similar to yours. You and your friends make dozens of decisions every day, and you influence each other's choices and behaviors. This is often positive. it's human nature to listen to and learn from other people in your age group.As you become more independent, your peers naturally play a greater role in your life. As school and other activities take you away from home, you may spend more time with peers than you do with your parents and siblings. You'll probably develop close friendships with some of your peers, and you may feel so connected to them that they are like an extended family.Besides close friends, your peers include other kids you know who are the same age, like people in your grade, sports team, or community. These peers also influence you by the way they dress and act, things they're involved in, and the attitudes they show.It's natural for people to identify with and compare themselves to their peers as they consider how they wish to be (or think they should be), or what they want to achieve. People are influenced by peers because they want to fit in, be like peers they admire, do what others are doing, or have what others have .

As we know, peer pressure can give us good influences. Peer pressure is not always bad. Good friends can encourage teens to do well in school, get involved in positive activities, volunteer, eat healthy foods , and avoid drugs, alcohol, and other risky activities. Friends also help teens learn good social skills and better ways to communicate and work out problems, and give teens good advice.

Bad influence is when teens feel pressured to do something they know is wrong, such as smoking, drinking, doing drugs, or stealing, or something they don't want to do such as cutting class or having sex. Teens may be tempted to give in to negative peer pressure because they want to be liked or fit in, they are afraid of being made fun of, or they want to try something other teens are doing. Negative peer pressure will remain a part of a teen's life into adulthood, which is why it is important for teens to learn how to deal with it.

Then, we have to know when the pressure on. Sometimes, though, the stresses in your life can actually come from your peers. They may pressure you into doing something you're uncomfortable with, such as shoplifting , doing drugs or drinking, taking dangerous risks when driving a car, or having sex before you feel ready.

This pressure may be expressed openly ("Oh, come on! it's just one beer, and everyone else is having one") or more indirectly simply making beer  available at a party.Most peer pressure is less easy to define. Sometimes a group can make subtle signals without saying anything at all letting you know that you must dress or talk a certain way or adopt particular attitudes toward school, other students, parents, and teachers in order to win acceptance and approval.The pressure to conform (to do what others are doing) can be powerful and hard to resist. A person might feel pressure to do something just because others are doing it (or say they are). Peer pressure can influence a person to do something that is relatively harmless or something that has more serious consequences. Giving in to the pressure to dress a certain way is one thing going along with the crowd to drink or smoke is another.People may feel pressure to conform so they fit in or are accepted, or so they don't feel awkward or uncomfortable. When people are unsure of what to do in a social situation, they naturally look to others for cues  about what is and isn't acceptable.The people who are most easily influenced will follow someone else's lead first. Then others may go along, too so it can be easy to think, "It must be OK. Everyone else is doing it. They must know what they're doing." Before you know it, many people are going along with the crowd, perhaps on something they might not otherwise do.Responding to peer pressure is part of human nature but some people are more likely to give in, and others are better able to resist and stand their ground. People who are low on confidence and those who tend to follow rather than lead could be more likely to seek their peers' approval by giving in to a risky challenge or suggestion. People who are unsure of themselves, new to the group, or inexperienced with peer pressure may also be more likely to give in.Using alcohol or drugs increases anyone's chances of giving in to peer pressure. Substance use impairs judgment and interferes with the ability to make good decisions.

In addition, you should know about pressure pointer, Nearly everyone ends up in a sticky peer pressure situation at some point. No matter how wisely you choose your friends, or how well you think you know them, sooner or later you'll have to make decisions that are difficult and could be unpopular. It may be something as simple as resisting the pressure to spend your hard-earned babysitting money on the latest MP3 player that "everybody" has. Or it may mean deciding to take a stand that makes you look uncool to your group.But these situations can be opportunities to figure out what is right for you. There's no magic to standing up to peer pressure, but it does take courage yours:.Listen to your gut. If you feel uncomfortable, even if your friends seem to be OK with what's going on, it means that something about the situation is wrong for you. This kind of decision-making is part of becoming self-reliant and learning more about who you are.Plan for possible pressure situations. If you'd like to go to a party but you believe you may be offered alcohol or drugs there, think ahead about how you'll handle this challenge. Decide ahead of time and even rehearse what you'll say and do. Learn a few tricks. If you're holding a bottle of water or a can of soda, for instance, you're less likely to be offered a drink you don't want.Arrange a "bail-out" code phrase you can use with your parents without losing face with your peers. You might call home from a party at which you're feeling pressured to drink alcohol and say, for instance, "Can you come and drive me home? I have a terrible earache."Learn to feel comfortable saying "no." With good friends you should never have to offer an explanation or apology. But if you feel you need an excuse for, say, turning down a drink or smoke, think up a few lines you can use casually. You can always say, "No, thanks, I've got a belt test in karate next week and I'm in training," or "No way my uncle just died of cirrhosis  and I'm not even looking at any booze ."Hang with people who feel the same way you do. Choose friends who will speak up with you when you're in need of moral support, and be quick to speak up for a friend in the same way. If you're hearing that little voice telling you a situation's not right, chances are others hear it, too. Just having one other person stand with you against peer pressure makes it much easier for both people to resist.Blame your parents: "Are you kidding? If my mom found out, she'd kill me, and her spies are everywhere.". If a situation seems dangerous, don't hesitate to get an adult's help.It's not always easy to resist negative peer pressure, but when you do, it is easy to feel good about it afterwards. And you may even be a positive influence on your peers who feel the same way — often it just takes one person to speak out or take a different action to change a situation. Your friends may follow if you have the courage to do something different or refuse to go along with the group. Consider yourself a leader, and know that you have the potential to make a difference.Study the Quran and Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad. Learn what behavior is pleasing to Allah, and what kind of lifestyle is discouraged in Islam. If you are not armed with knowledge about the halaal and haraam  aspects of daily life, you can never fully resist the temptation of peer pressure. Through knowledge, you will develop a better understanding of Islam, and through pious and righteous friends, you will strengthen your Iman.

The important thing you should know is how to handle this peer pressure. Decide before you get into situation what your values and standards are. Choose good friends who share your values. Good friends use positive peer pressure to help you be your best self. Avoid situations where people are doing things you don't want to do. Think about your reasons for doing things: Are they good reasons? Are you being true to yourself and your values? Think about what the consequences will be of your decisions and actions, such as if an activity might harm your health or get you into trouble. Practice ways to say no - come up with excuses if necessary, such as that you don't want to get in trouble, damage your body or mind, or risk blowing your involvement in sports or academics. Talk to your parents or a trusted adult about the kinds of peer pressure you face and listen to their advice. With your parents or another trusted adult, come up with a code word you can use to let the adult know that you need help getting out of a bad situation but can't talk about it . Remember that if just one teen stands up against peer pressure, usually others will join him or her, and learning to handle peer pressure gives teens more confidence and maturity. 

Moreover, there are negative effects of peer pressure. When you do not like a particular idea or when you have no inclination towards a particular field, it is obvious that you won't like to go by it. For sure, you won't like to go that way. But it is you peer group, which may compel you on doing something you hate. In such cases, there are chances that you won't do well in those things. Things you do not enjoy doing cannot fetch you success. You cannot emerge successful in something you have never liked doing. So, it is important that you do not lose happiness of your life by succumbing to peer pressure. Many a time, it so happens, that we are forced to lead a certain kind of lifestyle due to peer pressure. You may not like partying on every weekend, you may not like night outs with friends, you may hate drinking or smoking, but peer pressure may make you do all that you had never wished to. There are many teenagers who experience great pressure from their peer group that forces them to take to drinking. You may take to something as grave as drug use, and that too, only because of peer pressure. In such cases, being overly pressurized by you peers can be detrimental to your living. Some teenagers literally spoil their lives by giving in to peer pressure.Peer pressure can lead to a loss of individuality. Extreme peer pressure may lead you to follow what your peers feel right. Their pressure may compel you to go by everything they think right. You tend to blindly imitate the masses; you adopt their tastes of fashion, clothing, hair, music and general living. Peer pressure can actually lead you to lose you tastes of life and force yourself to begin liking what they like. Peer pressure is the human tendency to join the bandwagon, in which, the person loses his/her original way of looking at life.

Peer pressure is not always give negative effects. Peer pressure also have positive effects. It can help you analyze yourself and contemplate on your ways of life. Some of the practices that the masses follow may actually teach you the way of living. You may be able to change yourself for the better. Looking at what others do, can help you bring about a positive change in your way of thinking. If you can pick selectively, peer pressure can actually result in a positive change in your way of life.Knowing what the masses follow exposes you to the world outside your home. You understand the things going on around you. You are exposed to a wide variety in human behavior. Exposure to peer pressure gives you an opportunity to think about their tastes and their outlooks towards life. It gives you a chance to choose the best from what the masses do.If you are fortunate to get a good peer group, your peers can play a vital role in the shaping of your personality. Their way of looking at life may influence you to change for betterment. Some of your peers are your close friends, who do not pressurize  you to do things but rather inspire you to change yourself. Your peer group may actually persuade you to bring about a constructive change in your personality. Peer pressure can lead you to make the right choices in life.

Furthermore, we have to know what is peer pressure in perspective islam. Peer pressure and Iman are inversely related. The more we give into peer pressure, the weaker our Iman becomes. Think about that for a minute. A Muslim’s Iman is strong as long as he seeks the pleasure of Allah in everything he does. So we could either stay alone or keep good friends. Staying alone, we would have no one to blame but the evil whispering of our own souls. But the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) teaches us that in being alone we are like sheep, easy prey for hungry wolves. Instead, we are encouraged to develop brotherhood and sisterhood, and most of all, to be surrounded by those who submit wholeheartedly to Allah (swt). We are reminded by Allah,

“O ye who believe! Be careful of your duty to Allah, and be with the truthful ”

My impression toward this topic are the peer pressure is strong in all levels of schools and colleges.  There are positive and negative peer pressures. Positive peer pressure is the influence of good Muslim friends who help strengthen our Iman  and protect from committing sins. It difficult to say no to peer pressure, but doing something don’t want to because fell pushed into it is not likely to make fell good anyway. Try and work on own confident levels, if confident within ourselves and have a good self-esteem, it will be easier to say no. Get talking about the issue to others within the group and find out if there is someone who sees things from your point of view. This way. It won’t be the group versus one, as someone have your back. Talk to someone out side the group such as a parent, a friend not involved in the group, a teacher or even counselor. The might be able to make suggestions to help the situation. Consider making friends with other who do not pressurize you into doing stuff you are uncomfortable it.